raycolon.com / Writing / Who Decides

Who Decides?

I often wonder how it is that we move through life -- working, playing, living, loving -- with barely a thought to how it is that we find ourselves where we are. How many people are actually living the lives they envisioned for themselves in their youth? Do we marry our childhood sweethearts? Do we wish we had? Do we conquer the world, or are we instead conquered? Outwardly, most lives are not as dramatic as a mid-afternoon soap opera. We take things as they come and react in the best way we know how. Seemingly minor decisions along the way irrevocably altar our fates, and we barely seem to notice. We're too busy with our daily routines to pay these events much mind. Yet, at times, the opposite is true.

We ponder some decisions very seriously -- almost too seriously. We hesitate, procrastinate, or simply succumb to the fear of the unknown and decide not to decide. This is the least desirable decision of them all. For if we consciously choose to take a step, and that step leads to a fall, we at least have fallen with the knowledge that the fall was of our own doing. Yet, if we are paralyzed by our inner voice - a voice that tends to alternatively pull us to then fro - we are forever taunted by the two words that epitomize regret, "What if?"

We've all felt the sting of those two words, even if we don't admit it to ourselves. It's inevitable. No person is so firmly grounded in their beliefs that they are always certain of their decisions. And those decisions, even the ones of which we are most certain, do not always seem that way in subsequent years. It seems that the best we can do is to minimize the number of instances that promote regret. But that is not the answer, since hindsight provides the corrective lens through which regret is derived.

So are we then inevitably saddled with this type of wasted emotion? Probably, but that's okay. The recognition of opportunities lost need not be a focal point for despair. With a modest amount of contemplation, those missteps can fortify us for the next opportunity that arises. They need not be monumental decisions. The next choice can be something as mundane as, "should I say what's on my mind?" or as life altering as, "should I quit my job?" Decide your fate for yourself, and your success or failure will not be determined by happenstance. It will be yours. And isn't that the way it should be?