My Mom was a yeller.
With the births of five sons preceding the delivery of the long hoped for daughter, she had a lot to yell about. It couldn’t have been easy raising five boys, although as a group we were relatively well behaved. But still, we were boys.
With no adult male role model in the home, we relied on Mom to teach us how to be men. It was a daunting task for her to be sure.
These were the days before a rap across the back of the legs with a belt or an ear pull were grounds for a visit from family services. As boys, we all pushed boundaries. Often the lines were boldly redrawn in very loud and unmistakable terms.
She was in charge.
Mom pushed us hard to do well in school because she knew that it was important. She also knew that there were other things that we had to learn. A childhood of living below the poverty line taught me lessons that could not be taught in a classroom setting. The streets of Bed Sty, the Lower East Side, and the South Bronx in the 60’s and 70’s were not places for the weak willed or the ignorant. If we weren’t careful, we knew that life could take a horrific turn in an instant. Tenement fires, idle youth in the streets, drugs, gangs, and crime were just some of the obstacles before us.
Mom stressed the importance of sticking together. She wanted to make sure that anyone who had a mind to mess with one of us was assured that they would have to beat down all five of her sons to get to the one. It worked in that this tact prevented more fights than it allowed.
We were lucky.
She’s mellowed some over the years, but she can still boom her voice over the noisiest clatter in a room to get our attention.
Mom succeeded in seeing us all safely into adulthood. This is a feat that required untold hours of work and a diversity of skills to accomplish, yet there’s really no place for this kind of achievement on a resume.
There’s something wrong with that.
Ray } – 
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Ray!
Your love and respect for your mother is unmistakably clear. In honoring her you have honored yourself as a man of substance.
My dear mother was murdered when I was 11. Because of this I have never been able to tolerate boys – they are never men even if they are 40! – who disrespected their mothers. A boy can become a man without a daddy, but not without a mother!
Hi Terry,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. I can’t imagine how awful that must have been for you and your family. Such a tragedy.
Your story should give those that read it pause. We shouldn’t fritter away the time that we have with our loved ones, since we never now what tomorrow will bring.
I thank you for your kind words, and it’s really nice to see you here.
Ray
It takes a person of character and strength to single-handedly raise a large family, your mom was obviously one of those people. My great grandmother raised eight kids by herself, and was another of those people. I have a few photos of her and can see the strength there.
By the way, your mother’s a lovely looking person.
Yes, Val, it is difficult to imagine most people, including myself, doing what my mom and your great grandmother accomplished. It really is amazing.
Thanks for your compliment to my mom. It’s very nice of you to say. Ray